Professional Gratitude: Every Day, Not Just a Holiday

  
“At times our own light goes out and is rekindled by a spark from another person. Each of us has cause to think with deep gratitude of those who have lighted the flame within us”
- Albert Schweitzer

The holiday season is a great opportunity to reflect on all we are thankful for – our family, friends, partners and everyone we consider part of our inner circle.  Our outer circle includes those we work with every day – our team, supervisor, and most importantly, our clients.  Expressing professional gratitude to this group is more than being nice – it is a virtue.

So how can we incorporate gratitude into our professional relationships beyond the holidays?

First, let’s get clear about gratitude.  Gratitude is much more than a thank you or a gift card – it is a mindset that affirms there is good in the world which comes from sources beyond us.  This confirms two of my leadership beliefs: we are surrounded by opportunities and our success in life comes from others.  In other words, none of us is truly self-made.  The advice, encouragement, and loyalty we give and receive results in a rare double win - for the giver and receiver.  The goodness sent and received creates grateful people, and research confirms both parties are happier, healthier, and more resilient.

I recall one of my mentors who modeled professional gratitude.  Every time I visited him in his office he would clear his desk and focus completely on me.  I felt valued and trusted him implicitly.  He would provide me specific feedback and taught me to receive gratitude as a gift.  It was all about me and not about him – gratitude expressed through attention and authenticity.
 
So how does professional gratitude work?  A great model for gratitude can be found in the book The Four Things that Matter Most by Ira Byock.  The author introduces theeleven words of hospice: please forgive me, I forgive you, thank you, and I love you.  These powerful words are often shared as someone is nearing the end of life, but these words also offer the energy to build a life.  In the workplace these words can be awkward, potentially viewed as weak in an environment that rewards strength over warmth.  So how can we express gratitude and not adversely impact our career?

Three keys to projecting gratitude as a leader:

Authenticity
Appreciation from someone who barely knows you and is using second or third hand feedback is not inspiring. Overly broad statements like, "Great job, everyone!" often leave no one feeling truly appreciated for their work. Find an opportunity to recognize someone for a specific task. For example: “Thanks for confirming the agenda and location for our meeting next week – I really appreciate your attention to detail."  The authentic leader makes the personal connection between task and relationship.

Admission

We express our thanks to others who "set the table" for our success: removing obstacles, accurately anticipating our needs, and offering solutions (as opposed to excuses).  Our admission builds relationships grounded in trust — an investment with no strings attached.  Think of who has recently set the table for your success — it is not too late to tell them they are appreciated. 

Acceptance
“Oh, it really was not a big deal!”  How often do we hear people deflect gratitude?  Accept the kind words – for yourself and the giver.  We can tend to minimize positive feedback in our professional lives, rationalizing encouraging words to what is expected performance.  A final thought on acceptance is respecting individual preferences for private vs. public gratitude — let the receiver decide.  Whether public or private, gratitude needs to be heard — silence is not the answer.
 
Be thankful for the inspiration your inner and outer circles collectively provide through gratitude, and embrace your responsibility for paying it forward.   Focus on your professional relationships by being authentic, humble, and appreciative.  Gratitude is one of the hardest things in life to give away – it keeps coming back to you.
 

And a moment of thanks for you, my readers. Thank you for your feedback and insight and taking the time to read The Opportunity Coach. 

One Step Forward, Two Steps Back

“If you chase two rabbits… you will catch neither one.”
- Russian Proverb

As we finish 2014, there is so much to do.  Wrapping up what needs to be done before year-end, while also keeping an eye on what is around the corner for 2015.  We are thankful for multi-tasking, the ability to perform several tasks at the same time, as we try to keep our heads above water.  But is multi-tasking really advancing our cause or are we being lulled into a false sense of achievement?
 
Let me make it real for you.  Try reading this newsletter without interruption for the next three or four minutes.  No doubt your smart phone will ping, somebody may walk by your desk, or you will remember a forgotten item on the grocery list.  Can you feel the pain of doing one thing at a time?  It feels so unproductive, yet the evidence clearly tells us by focusing on one thing we can be so much more productive.
 
Multi-tasking first entered our vocabulary back in the 1960s when computers entered the mainstream.  Computers were designed to perform multiple tasks simultaneously and this worked very well.  People are different than computers - our brains are engineered to focus on one thing at a time.  We can certainly do two routine things at once (walk & talk) but the challenge is to focus on two more complicated tasks at once (email & conversation).  The price of mistakes caused by multi-tasking can be costly (mistakes prescribing medications or inattentive parenting) and include derailing your career.
 
Research at Stanford University confirms that multi-tasking is less productive than doing one thing at a time.  This much we know - workers are interrupted on average every 11 minutes, process over 4,000 thoughts a day, and ultimately waste one-third of each day being distracted.  It is not that we have too little time – we have too many things in the time we have.
 
So why is multi-tasking not effective?  With all our interruptions and distractions we switch from one task to another, over and over.  This process involves two steps: switch and reorient.  For example, we switch from reading our email to visiting with a co-worker.  This is not a seamless transition – it takes mental resources to reorient to the new situation (co-worker, task, environment, sense of urgency).  Constantly shifting our focus wastes of approximately one-third of a workday, even while feeling productive.
 
Three keys to increase your effectiveness by minimizing your multi-tasking:

Focus on #1
Prioritize your work and put your best effort toward what matters most.  Too often we are seduced into spending our day multi-tasking  “C” priorities, leaving work feeling good even though we are stepping backwards in our overall productivity.  Stop and ask yourself – what is the best use of my time right now?

Segment your Day
Productivity experts encourage us to partition our day into several periods.  For example, work your social media during a set time period versus constantly interrupting your day.  Turn off all your reminder pings, check email a set number of times a day, and refocus on the human side of the workplace.  There is no “I” in team, text, laptop or smart phone – but there is in relationship.

Be in the Moment
Relationships need to be fed and multi-tasking can starve these precious resources.  Make your smart phone a second priority and connect with the person striving for your attention.  We have all seen the couple at a restaurant where one partner hangs their head waiting for the other to finish working email or sending texts.  You are either in the moment with someone or you are not – there is no middle ground.
 
Increase your productivity and satisfaction by focusing on the things you need to do in the time you have.  Pay attention to what is #1, manage your time, and most importantly be in the moment.  Focus your way to a better life – less is more.

The One Work Question We Should All Be Asking

Is Your Work a Passion-Free Zone?

“It is the ultimate luxury to combine passion and contribution. It's also a very clear path to happiness.”
- Sheryl Sandberg

Are you following your passion at work? It's such familiar advice and a common question, but few of us have a ready answer for it.

We do our best to find a career that is challenging and brings us joy.  The perfect career is clear - meaningful work and being surrounded by great people.  Is that your situation today?  If so, you are very fortunate.

A 2013 Gallup Survey found only 13 percent of workers are actively engaged at work, feeling a sense of passion for what they do.  I regularly hear from clients that they struggle to find passion in their profession.  In fact, they often realize their current role never had much passion in the first place.  They were attracted by job features such as good pay, benefits, or convenient location.  Passion was discounted for steady, predictable work.

So if only a minority of workers feel passionate about what they do, what about the rest of us?  If we feel “checked out” how do we get back in the game?

I served as a mentor for a new leader who was wrestling with the passion issue.  He was frustrated with the emptiness of his position and realized his job was only a means to an end.  Go into the office, be polite and competent, and return home to enjoy his real passions in life.  We discussed what was holding him back -- fear of leaving a secure future -- and what it would take for him to make a change.  He connected the importance of living to work, rather than working to live, by capturing his passion and changing his career.   

Three keys to understanding the role of passion in your work:

Path to Happiness
Work is a part of your life and don’t be defined by it.  Your life portfolio contains many opportunities – spiritual, family, health, friends, and certainly your career.  The key is a successful portfolio, and the passion for your career does not have to be the primary measure.  Remember, while passion is about excitement, it is also relative – your career may not ring a ten on the passion meter every day.  Keep your portfolio in perspective and strive for an overall return.

Test the Water
What if you think you know your professional passion and need greater confirmation?  One step is to test the water and get engaged in this type of work on a limited basis.  Rather than a disruptive career change over the weekend, sample your new profession by visiting with others in the field or volunteering to get direct experience part-time.  Get the view from the ground before you commit.

Contribution
As the quote from Sheryl Sandberg tells us, the path to happiness is all about combining your passion with contribution.  Understand the impact of your new role – does it create the positive change you are hoping for?  Evaluate your passion not just on what it will do for you, but also on what will it do for others.

Follow your passion?  I say lead with your passion!  Know your path to happiness, and test the water to make sure you understand the impact you can make.  Take a fresh look and you may realize your ideal career is already in place.

Self Employment: Should I Stay or Should I Go? 

“I actually think every individual is now an entrepreneur, whether they recognize it or not.”
- Reid Hoffman
 
To own your own business, for many of us, is the ultimate American Dream.  I frequently hear clients frame this as a wish, something to do someday, though they don't have a plan to get there.  The amazing thing is when they describe their wish I see the passion in their posture, voice, and face.  This is what they want — and need — to do with their life. 
 
Why does such an inspiring moment often result in just an empty resolution and not a call to action?  It all comes down to this question – should I stay or should I go?
 
Fear is a constant in our lives and the opportunity to be self-employed often generates plenty of “if onlys”:

• If only I had more money
• If only I knew how to sell
• If only I had a creative product

People fear the odds may be against them. Owning a small business is hard, and not all businesses thrive.  Two-thirds of all new small businesses survive the first two years, but less than half will still be operating by year four, according to a study done by the Small Business Administration. 

I understand such concerns. Two years ago, my entrepreneurial experience was very limited. What I did have was a passion for spending my day helping others doing what I really loved to do.  My crucible moment was should I stay or should I go? Should I leave my corporate job and start a business of my own? The “if onlys” and the odds encouraged my mind to stay, but thank goodness my heart said to go. 
 
The first two years of self-employment have been exciting, fearful, liberating, and humbling.  Today my business is growing; when people ask me how are things going I respond - business is great and I am doing exactly what I enjoy doing.  No more self-imposed constraints – I am building my own future.
 
Three keys to successfully transition from a steady job to your entrepreneurial dream:

Guts
From personal experience, starting your own business after life in the corporate world is tough.  Moving from being dependent to independent will test your character every day, and failure is a frequent reminder you are on a journey to success.  The good news is we all have courage -- let your heart drive your decision.    

Gravitas
The successful entrepreneur must have intelligence and superb interpersonal skills.  Gravitas is not charm – it is all about being a person of substance.  You want your business to be respected and that starts with you.  

Diligence
Your ability to sustain a new business is directly related to your ability to deliver on your promises.  The research tells us that approximately two-thirds of entrepreneurs in the US list initiative as the number one motivator in starting their business.  It boils down to this - the value you provide through your products or services centers on your execution.  Courage and gravitas are not enough.  You must deliver the goods. 
 
Commit to working for someone else or moving forward to answer the self-employment call.  All it takes is guts, gravitas, and the diligence to keep your promises.  Get past the fear and deferring your dream – time to get off the fence.

Don't Confuse Progress with Winning

“Never mistake activity for achievement.”

- Coach John Wooden

Ask any executive the number one quality they look for when selecting or promoting leaders - the common response is getting results.  But what happens if the task is executed effectively but does not add value to the organization?

The challenging world we live in is loaded with progress based on activities.  Coach Wooden reminds us to fully understand the difference between activity and achievement.  His message is all about the need to be aligned to a significant purpose to ensure you are moving in the right direction, not just moving.

Leadership development is often focused on the difference between efficiency and effectiveness.  Progress can be associated with completing activities efficiently, such as number of sales calls initiated.  But what if the sales calls target the wrong prospects?  By contrast, effectiveness is all about the right goals, measures, and results directly related to adding strategic value.  Value generation focuses on quality, not just quantity, and is the lifeblood of a successful organization.

I once was leading an operation that had ten teams, and one of the teams was the company leader in developing a unique software program designed to save expenses.  However, their success had a cost.  The other nine teams needed staffing help during challenging times and this team was focused on their success only.  I reminded the manager of this team that I expected each team to contribute to the overall success of our operation, and that he was not meeting my expectations.  At first he was surprised that the top ranking was actually a problem, but then realized his team was not sharing staff with other groups that needed help.  He changed his approach, won increased respect from his peers, and contributed more positively to our overall success.  This was a teachable moment to make sure goals and activities are connected to what matters most - winning as an organization.

Three keys to matching activities to success:

See The Finish Line 
Runners approach the starting line anxious to get started and even though the finish line is out of sight, it's very much on their minds. As leaders, we can also spend more time on the early stages of our work to produce a better final product.  For example, the assignment may not be well defined or may include an unreasonable deadline.  You have the opportunity to build clarity and define reality.  This requires leadership courage and challenging the process – two critical qualities necessary to be an effective leader.

Connect Your Thoughts
We often hear the phrase “connect the dots”, implying the need to understand how your work aligns with other areas of the organization.  Connecting your thoughts is an individual responsibility to make sure you have thoroughly accomplished what was asked.  Take the time to carefully assess the task at hand to find the true issue.  Resist the impulse to find a quick solution – a superficial response is not a career accelerator.    
Completed Staff Work 
Once you have determined how the challenge is aligned to organizational success and your thoughts are connected, take the time to organize your recommendation to be reviewed by a very busy decision maker.  One approach is to use the following format:

• What?
• So What?
• Now What?

Describe the challenge (What?), why it is important (So What?), and what needs to happen next (Now What?).  This is the type of decision support leaders crave - an opportunity to quickly assess a challenge with a menu of potential solutions.

Get beyond the activity mindset to search for value generation.  See the finish line, connect your thoughts, and deliver completed staff work to differentiate you as an effective leader.  Remember, the sum of unaligned activities is a number – not a win.

Leader Overboard!

“My goal was to stay afloat until sunrise”.

- John Aldridge

There are times in our career when we accept a challenge and soon realize we are in over our head.  Our pride tells us we can figure out what needs to be done – just give me a little more time.  Asking for help could be perceived as a weakness and we scramble looking for a way out.  The challenge becomes overwhelming and it can feel as if you have been thrown overboard.

Take the story of John Aldridge. In the wee hours of July 24, 2014, Aldridge was keeping watch on deck of the lobster boat Anna Mary, when a handle he was holding snapped and he flew overboard. He called for help, but his partner was asleep and didn't notice his absence until hours later.

Fishermen can be superstitious about what to do with their boots in an overboard crisis. Instead of kicking the boots off, as many others had told him, Aldridge realized his rubber-soled boots were different. He turned them upside down and used them as flotation devices. His defying of traditional wisdom is what may have saved his life. The Coast Guard and 21 fellow fishermen organized a search party, including a helicopter pilot who had been involved in search and rescue missions for eight years and had never pulled anyone alive from the water.  The pilot was flying over the ocean with very little fuel remaining, what they call “bingo fuel,” the fuel needed to get home, and as he was straining his eyes over the water he spotted Aldridge waving frantically.  Following a brief absence, he is once again back at work on the Anna Mary.

Lost at sea and the overwhelmed workplace – is there a connection?  Here are three keys to overcoming a professional challenge when you are in over your head:

Rescue
Accept the need to be rescued.  Pride is a blind spot that prevents us from reaching out to those who can help us.  We have all established leadership capital based on our success – spend a little capital by asking for help.  A successful rescue is a career builder – not derailer.

Reframe
Once you accept the need for support, reframe your role.  Is this a situation where another leader could step forward to lead the recovery?  Should you share responsibility?  Remember, your initial role did not work.  Your greatest contribution may be as a follower or removing yourself from the project – releasing control for the common good.

Reflect
What have you learned about your leadership style through this crisis?  Do you need to ask more questions before accepting this type of assignment, including what resources will be available?  History teaches us that a crisis requires the best minds coming together – not individuals trying to do it all.
 
John Aldridge realized he had to let go to be rescued.  The next time you are overwhelmed in a challenging opportunity, and we all experience this, remember the three keys: accept the rescue, reframe your role, and reflect to prepare for the next opportunity.  Great leaders learn through resilience – may your life preserver be your ability to let go.

The Courage to Stand Up

“Everyone has talent. What is rare is the courage to follow the talent to the dark place where it leads.”

- Erica Jong

We all are blessed with talents that enable us to do great things in life.  The courage to risk our talents, to say what needs to be said or do what needs to be done, is where we move from follower to leader.  Leadership courage comes from within and is available to all of us.  So as we face challenges and others look around to see who will stand up, the question needs to be “why not me?”
 
​We are all familiar with stories of personal courage in the workplace – the co-worker who professionally calls out a peer for a negative attitude during a meeting; or the administrative assistant who decides not to do a "favor" when approached to disregard a company policy. They inspire us and cause us to reflect - “what would I do?”  Their actions represent a personal choice, to sit back or engage, and the good news is we are also capable of making the right call.

Full disclosure, I have personally stood back while others engaged.  However, I do have a story that has caused me to increase my confidence to stand up.  I was a new board member and attending my first meeting.  The attendees were primarily senior managers and overwhelmingly male.  Our meeting began with a report from a young woman from another organization.  She did an excellent job presenting her material and asked if there were any questions.  A colleague next to me remarked “you look like a model!”  Following an awkward silence, the leader called for a break.  The woman was embarrassed, smiled, and thanked the group for their attention.

I leaned over to the individual at break and shared my opinion that his comment was inappropriate.  He acted surprised and said he meant no harm.  I would have normally left the matter alone but I decided to stand up – and also realized there was another step.  Following the meeting, I found the presenter and apologized on behalf of our group for the inappropriate comment. She said it was not a big deal, but I assured her it was something I needed to address.  She indicated that she had already received an apology from the individual, and she was very appreciative the matter was resolved. A successful outcome for the two individuals involved, and a lesson learned for me.

Three keys to demonstrating leadership courage:

Confront Yourself
Our values drive our behavior.  When you strongly believe something and it is violated – do you fight or take flight?  Know your core values and understand they identify you.  If your value is integrity and a peer lies to you - do you give them a free pass or state your disappointment and redefine the relationship?  Courage draws from your moral compass.

Confront the Situation
The term “armchair quarterback” involves sitting down and passing judgment from the sidelines.  Courage requires raising yourself past what is comfortable to the unknown – a personal intervention.  Step into the situation and communicate with confidence, using effective non-verbals and words to navigate a successful outcome. 

Consistency
Courage is all about our everyday behavior – most of us will not save a baby from a house fire.  Building a consistent style that models courage, and encouraging others to behave the same way, is what successful leaders do.  Courageous leaders inspire and attract others to go beyond.

Our world needs courageous leaders.  Confront yourself and the situation, and be consistent as you stand up.  Remember – why not me?
 

Managing the Hand You Were Dealt

“We cannot change the cards we are dealt, just how we play the game.” - Randy Pausch

All of us have personal attributes, what you might call your set of cards. These have a strong impact on how we succeed in our professional lives.  In the book Compelling People by John Neffinger and Matthew Kohut, the authors describe the art of "playing" your cards.  The cards we are dealt (physical appearance, gender, ethnicity, and age are just a few examples) represent our foundation in how we see ourselves and interact with others.  How we play our cards is our decision.

As leaders we have the opportunity to change our behavior to be more effective.  This can be a difficult process but the good news is it is within our control.  Our attributes are often beyond our control and others may view our uniqueness as not the right “fit”– resulting in lost sales, promotions, or social isolation.  Stereotypes and discrimination continue to torment our workplaces and this can result in feeling victimized by what others are doing to us. 
 
My message is not about what others need to do to change their behavior and respect your uniqueness – this is for a different conversation. Right now, let’s start by looking at what you can do. 
 
I recall a recent conversation with a colleague regarding her frustration in being respected as a female leader in a predominantly male organization.  She would raise solutions in meetings that were dismissed, only to watch a male leader claim credit for the same solution. My coaching focused on accepting what is in her control and identifying how to be more personally effective in playing her cards.  The specific area we discussed was how to use her non-verbal behavior more effectively, such as facial expression, and not just focusing on her words.  
 
Three keys to playing your cards effectively:
 
Acceptance
I am a firm believer in strengths-based leadership.  Recognize your unique qualities for what they are – the accelerator, not the brakes, in your professional development.  Accept your foundation and identify realistic goals for where you want to be.  Remember, this is a game to maximize what you have – not just to discard the cards you dislike.

Strength
Projecting strength as a leader builds confidence in others.  You can do this through competence and determination.  Breaking through barriers is much easier when you havethe right answers and initiative to get the job done.  Strength has many sources (emotional, physical, intellectual, spiritual, etc…) and attracts others.   
 
Warmth
Empathy is a great approach to increasing your connection with others.  You may feel you are approachable but there are people who avoid you – you may never know why. Warmth is in the eyes of the beholder so get familiar with others by getting to know them personally.  Quick test – how do others react when you approach them (smiling, apprehensive, cautious, etc…)?
  
In the professional world we have much more in common with each other than we realize – unfortunately we often focus on our differences.  Promote your uniqueness through acceptance, strength, and warmth to build your personal confidence and increase your effectiveness with others.  Play your hand to achieve success on your terms.

Your Business Card Three Years From Now

“Think little goals and expect little achievements.  Think big goals and win big success" - David Joseph Schwartz

One of my favorite coaching questions is, "What is on your business card three years from now?"  Business cards are similar to a name tag, a connection tool designed to project a profile and create opportunities.  People we meet process their continued interest based on what they read, see, and hear. My question is – who will you be three years from now?

Our professional life is a journey and visualizing who you are becoming, or remaining, alerts you to the track you are on.  You may believe reflecting on your progress is too time consuming and uncomfortable, but the alternative is merely hoping things will go your way.  You want to avoid doing this, or you may find yourself asking, “Where did the time go?" and thinking "I can’t believe I am still in this job.”

My experience with projecting my role three years from now came from a leadership training program.  Honestly, I was convinced the program would never end.  I was so eager to assume new responsibilities that I did not need to visualize two or three more years to be good to go.  The organization believed I needed more “seasoning” for my longterm success.  This seasoning caused me to be impatient and become concerned that my career progress was stalling.  In reality, my focus should have been on what I needed to do to be fully prepared for my next opportunity.  My promotion followed and I had a real lesson in the wisdom of building strong technical and interpersonal skills before accepting new leadership responsibilities.

Three keys to building a profile in three years that promotes your professional goals:

Time out
Stop the clock and reassess where you are and where you are going in your career.  Every coach has a strategy when the game begins but adjustments are always necessary.  Ask yourself: what is going well, what is not going well, and what do I need to do differently?  Answering these questions enables you to redirect your professional energy to meet the opportunities that will come your way.

Get Tangible
Design a business card that represents the position you plan to have three years from now – go online or to an office supply store and print up a small batch.  Post the card wherever you keep the important reminders that motivate your growth.

Share Your Goals
Sharing your goals with the people you trust will dramatically increase your success.  We all want to succeed in life on our terms and that includes a supporting cast.  A goal concealed rarely sustains traction.  Get feedback and support from others to add momentum to your successful journey.

If I were to meet you three years from now, what would be on your business card?  More importantly, what do you need to do to now to make sure that comes to fruition?  Call a timeout, get tangible, and share your goals with those who can make it happen in your life.  I can’t wait to ask for your card down the road!

What's Your Hustle Indicator?

“Things may come to those who wait, but only the things left by those who hustle.” - Abraham Lincoln

Hustle is a differentiator – in school, business, sports, and our many other life priorities.  Each of us has been blessed with talent and abilities, but how we apply that is what determines our success.  Maximizing our talent requires hustle, the extra effort to go beyond "good enough" to "whatever it takes."

Where you fall between "good enough" and "whatever it takes" is  your “hustle indicator”.  Do you consistently pour your heart into what you do or convince yourself to save it for next time?  Examples include putting that phone call off another day, skipping the networking event, or resigning yourself that the new business opportunity requires too much effort.

Overcoming limited talent with determination makes great movies – Rocky, Hoosiers, andRudy are classic examples.  However, the reality is this behavior is often the exception to the rule.  The truth is we observe talented individuals who fail to measure up every day - athletes who coast and do not reach their potential, business professionals who rely on political skills and their careers stall, and gifted children who confound their parents with average grades.  They have the goods but underperform.  They say a mind is a terrible thing to waste – so is your heart.

As a youth hockey coach, we had a young boy who was not blessed with great talent and yet desperately wanted to make our travel team.  During our tryout evaluations he scored well on the standard categories (skating, passing, shooting, etc…), good enough, but not one of the best. But he made the team over more skilled players because he had the heart of a lion – giving all he had even when the game was most certainly over.  Ask any coach about hustle and they will tell a similar story.

Let’s apply this story to the workplace - what does “whatever it takes” look like in your work world?  Does it get rewarded?

Three keys to promoting your hustle indicator:

Stamina
To truly go the extra step you need to have endurance.  Take care of the greatest financial asset in your portfolio – you.  If you find yourself reluctant to take on major challenges you may simply lack the energy necessary, and this is within your control.  Be diligent about your personal fitness and mental agility to have the reservoir necessary for diligence.  Project energy to build confidence in others that you have the goods to get the job done.

Self Recognition
My experience is the world admires those who hustle but the rewards often go to the high profile, talented few.  Sports and business are all about data/metrics (outcomes) and personal brand (perception).   You may need to reframe your expectations to reward yourself for giving all you have, and not depending on external recognition.

Tough Tasks
"When the going gets tough…" - we all know the end of that sentence.  The reality is only a few volunteer for the most challenging assignments in life, most people rely on someone else taking charge.  The common refrain is “after you”.  Be a fixer and a closer when others are asking for your leadership in tough times.  Ask yourself “am I getting asked or volunteering for what others walk away from?”  If not, why?

Abe Lincoln had it right – don’t wait for your opportunity to come.  Build your stamina, recognize yourself, and take on the tough tasks.  Raise your hustle indicator and prepare for new opportunities.

The Leadership Mirror - Am I the Problem?

“Magic mirror on the wall, who is the fairest one of all?”

 - Queen, Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs

Do you ever have the feeling you are lying to yourself?  For example, perceiving that you excel at something when the reality is you don’t measure up?  This deception can produce a “positivity bias” that limits our professional success and threatens our ability to effectively lead others.

Our brain is wired to self-preservation and we can easily behave in a way that puts us in the most positive light.  A recent study found when people were asked to choose the most accurate photo of themselves, from a selection of images that were either accurate or altered to make them look more attractive, the majority selected the photo that wasbetter than reality.  The magic mirror alive and well!

In the excellent book Leadership and Self Deception by the Arbinger Institute, self-deception is described as “the problem of not knowing my role in the problem.”  In other words, self-deception is all about blocking our inner truths.  Once this deception is revealed, a common response is to deflect reality by blaming others or adopting a victim mentality – a situation referred to as being “in the box”.

What is your self-deception – need for control, effective communicator, subject matter expert, sensitive leader, etc…?  
  
My story of self-deception and being “in the box” was about being open to bad news.  I asked my employees to share good and bad news, and they quickly realized my interest in bad news was just talk.  My moment of truth occurred when my managers completed a 360 feedback assessment and my self-deception was revealed.  I learned my managers were working around me to resolve problems, and my boss wanted answers to problems I was unaware of.  My initial thought was to blame my managers, but the reality was I needed to get “out of the box.” I altered my behavior to appreciate and reward my managers sharing bad news.

Three keys to managing self-deception:

Self-Awareness 
Get a clear understanding of your blind spots.  We can deceive ourselves as we achieve positions of power, and my experience is that feedback from others decreases as you rise in the organization.  Validate your strengths, manage your weaknesses, and pay extra attention to building positive relationships.  Managing self-deception is all about understanding how you behave.

Humanity 
As leaders we pledge to treat people with care.  How do we really know?  The answer is to see others as people not objects.  Ask people “what is going on in your world?” to keep the focus on them not you.  Another effective way to connect is learning and using first names.  Think about your last experience at the coffee shop or restaurant – what was the server’s name?  Strangers represent new opportunities.

Vulnerability 
The responses “I don’t know” or “I dropped the ball” are not examples of weakness – they leave us open and project confidence.  People can perceive arrogance and lack of integrity a mile away.  Admit your mistakes and know your limitations.  An effective response is “I made a mistake and here is what I learned”.

Understand your blind spots, treat people with care, and leave yourself open to learn.  A mirror is a reflection of how you see yourself – let it be the leader you need to be, not the leader you pretend to be.

Star Performer But Not Satisfied?

“It's necessary to be slightly underemployed if you are to do something significant.”- James D. Watson

We read every day about people looking for work, not just the right job but any job.  Included in these stories are individuals who have jobs but are underemployed.  In other words, they remain stuck in roles where their experience and education often exceed what is required.  The irony is these individuals often excel in these roles but feel insignificant and frustrated.

When we excel in a role where our qualifications far exceed what is needed we can get addicted to being recognized as a star performer.  An analogy would be an athlete or team competing at a lower level – a false sense of success.  The key is to recognize the situation you are in, a situation you agreed to, and commit to a better future.  You may need help with both the diagnosis and prescription – reach out to people you trust.  Putting it off to another day keeps you in the demoralizing cycle of getting good at something you don’t like.

I have had moments in my career when I felt underemployed, and questioned if I was in the right field. When I joined a new, technology-focused unit in our sales division, I thought this was the exact job I was looking for. But once I arrived, I found the unit was not prepared for the changes I was expected to bring. I wound up sitting in a hallway without any real idea of what I was hired to do. I spoke with my boss and we found a workable solution where I transferred to a different area--one that could use my input even though it was lower profile. What I found was a fantastic work environment where I could put my ideas to use and thrive--I broke out of the cycle.

Three keys to being a star performer at work and enjoying what you do:

Compete Against Yourself
Resist the temptation to measure your success against others – envy is sure to generate strong feelings of being underemployed.  When you tear down others who move on you neglect yourself.  Stars at work with high job satisfaction critique their performance, seek feedback, and own their professional development.  They learn from others but realize growth comes from within.

Initiative
Leadership studies continue to rate initiative as a key characteristic to differentiate individual performance.  Low initiative means sustaining the status quo, and in today’s world that means stepping backwards.  Star performers demonstrate passion and drive themselves and others to new opportunities.  Step forward to seize your opportunity and don’t look back. 

Leader v. leader
“Large L” leaders often use their titles to drive results.  They have studied leadership concepts but don’t always connect with their people.  “Small L” leaders use humility and passion to attract others to follow them, inspiring others at all levels of the organization.  Remember, you have people who follow you – regardless of your title.  You should know why they follow you. 

As the quote from James D. Watson reminds us, being slightly underemployed guards against complacency and inspires us to pursue greater goals.  Keep the focus on yourself, demonstrate initiative, and be a small L leader.  You will move from where you are to where you need to be.

Needs a Friend? Get a Dog.

“You win a few; you lose a few; but you keep on fighting. And if you need a friend, get a dog.  It’s trench warfare out there, pal.” --Gordon Gekko (aka Michael Douglas) Wall Street

Our success in life is dependent on others, particularly our family and friends.  Friends have earned our trust and they stand by us through good times and bad – our unconditional supporters.  This works well in our personal lives but what about our workplace relationships?  Do leaders have unconditional friendships at work?

We think of our work “friends” as people we know pretty well, have lunch with, and who appear interested in our success.  The summer 2005 edition of the MIT Sloan Management Review featured the article, “Friend, Foe, Ally, … or Something Else?"  The authors' conclusion really surprised me – “the corporate world is much better suited for making enemies not friends”.  Their research found workplace relationships to be very unpredictable and often focused on win/lose outcomes, a difficult environment to develop trusting relationships.

The reality is our relationship with friends does not change based on the situation.  Our attention at work should be on our conditional relationships, building allies who will generally support us and converting adversaries to allies.

I misclassified an ally as a friend years ago and the result was a career setback.  A senior corporate executive was scheduled to visit our office and I had already committed to a meeting in another location.  I reached out to a peer--someone I had considered a friend--and he said not to worry.  The executive visited our office and was very disappointed I was not in town.  He called our local senior executive to share his observation that perhaps my status as a “high potential” leader required a second look.  Following a humbling meeting with our local senior executive, I realized and learned from my mistake.  However, the most disappointing result was I learned my friend told the visiting executive he could not believe my poor judgment to miss his visit.  Betrayed by someone I trusted, I redefined that relationship.

Three keys to building allies:

Intentional Personal Time
Spend dedicated time with your allies.  For example, set up recurring calendar visits to learn about their world and look for opportunities to collaborate.  These relationship deposits build trust, the bedrock of sustaining friends and allies.

Spend Your Political Capital
You have established political capital based on your positive reputation.  Be willing to use this critical resource by promoting your allies – rally behind them when their reputation is facing a moment of truth.

Honor the Gatekeepers
Pay special attention to those who provide access to decision makers.  Administrative assistants have information and calendar control – take the time to recognize and appreciate their role.  My experience has been they are great allies if you care.

The bottom line - a few friends and many allies are the network you need to achieve success.  Allocate intentional time on your calendar to nurture your allies, spend your political capital, and honor the gatekeepers.

Don’t get a dog – build strong alliances. 

Leadership Relevance: What's Your Expiration Date?

"Learning is about more than simply acquiring new knowledge and insights; it is also crucial to unlearn old knowledge that has outlived its relevance. Thus, forgetting is probably at least as important as learning.” - Gary Ryan Blair

As consumers we pay great attention to the expiration date on a perishable item – imagine drinking milk two weeks past the "best if used by XX" date.  Leadership skills can also be perishable and we run the risk of becoming irrelevant and ultimately ignored.  The good news is remaining relevant is our decision and within our control.

Relevance is about being in the moment and connected to what is happening around you.  We worry about our relevance during critical career moments, particularly when we stop waiting for the “call” and our next promotion.  This realization can be our decision early or late in our career, as we are satisfied our work and personal needs are being met.  Another scenario is the organization makes the decision for you, sometimes through feedback and often in painful silence, and you watch new opportunities from the sidelines. 

These career plateau situations tap into our desire for significance.  Will I be removed from my important role and assigned “special projects”?  Can I really keep up with technology?  Are my relationship skills no longer valued?  The reality is the risk of perishable skills can occur at any age and the answer is to intentionally reinvent ourselves to sustain a meaningful career.

I recall a situation with one of my own mentors who was approaching retirement. He and I were having a candid discussion regarding my next career move.  He was an excellent teacher and had sponsored me for several promotions.  During our visit he surprised me by saying, “I am not sure I can help you moving forward – my influence is not what it used to be”.  I could hardly believe what I was hearing and left the session feeling rejected.  He encouraged me to reach out to a younger leader who was quickly moving up the corporate ladder.  In the end, his selfless advice proved to be true and he remained relevant as he reinvented our relationship from mentorship to friendship.

Three keys to keeping your leadership reputation fresh and relevant:

Credibility
Experience is a wonderful asset and needs to be nurtured through continuous learning.  Stay current on the changes underway and reinvest in your strengths – we get stronger through resistance not relaxing.  Remaining relevant involves projecting confidence to others through what you know and how well you deliver.

Energy
Invest in your physical and mental well-being.  The pace of the workplace continues to increase and your capacity will be tested.    Develop a regular exercise plan and energize your learning process through new material and relationships.  Energy drives initiativeand initiative drives results.

Relationships
Relationships, like products on the shelf, can get stale.  The individuals who helped you succeed will eventually move on and you will be challenged to invest in a network makeover.  These new contacts will improve your current career, future career, and serve as a resource to mentor the next generation.

Extend your leadership perishable date by regularly investing in what it takes to remain relevant – credibility, energy, and relationships.  When you are a relevant leader people want to do business with you, recommend you to others, and follow you.    

Leading Your Exit Strategy

“No individual has any right to come into the world and go out of it without leaving behind him distinct and legitimate reasons for having passed through it.”

- George Washington Carver 

Leading through transitions is an opportunity to excel and I frequently encourage clients to read The First 90 Days by Michael Watkins, a great resource for leaders assuming a new role.  What about your last 90 days, leaving a role or organization for a new opportunity?

The legacy you leave is your reputation – a career asset to be carefully protected.  Departing with character includes completing your obligations and maintaining key relationships moving forward.  The solution is having a clear exit strategy to benefit the organization and yourself.

I learned a painful lesson when I was brought on to replace an ambitious individual who had been recently promoted.  He had been very focused on pleasing our senior executive and he neglected his peer group.  His peers perceived him as dismissing their importance and not being a team player.  As a result, his peers were very skeptical of me and I realized my top priority was to build relationships.  My list of ideas to improve the department would have to wait.  The primary lesson I learned was a smooth transition between leaders involves working together to promote a mutually beneficial exit strategy.

Three keys to an effective exit strategy:

Finish Strong
Once you announce you are leaving, others will understand change is underway and you will be juggling multiple roles.  Identify two or three obligations you can complete by your transition date.  Your commitment will enable your leadership team to have a succession plan.  Completing these obligations gives you a sense of accomplishment, builds a positive reputation, and sustains key relationships moving forward.

Gratitude
As we leave opportunities, we realize all the individuals who have helped us along the way.  The irony is these individuals have always supported us – and sometimes their importance is finally realized when we depart.  Take the time to say thanks and be specific as to how they helped you grow.

Running Start 
A great way to promote a seamless transition is to prepare your replacement - providing a running start.  Many of us eagerly begin new roles and we are stuck in uncertainty.  You can provide a running start by sharing important job duties, people insights, and potential office politics challenges to make their first day a productive day.  Your replacement will be very appreciative and becomes a valuable member of your network.

We all want to leave opportunities in a better place than when we arrived.  Finish strong, express gratitude, and provide your replacement a running start.  Your reputation will be the wind at your back as you move forward to new opportunities.
 

Leading with Humor

“Like a welcome summer rain, humor may suddenly cleanse and cool the earth, the air and you.”

- Langston Hughes

Laughter is often the best medicine in life – but what about using humor in the workplace?   In the work environment we are expected to be sensitive to others and treat people with respect.  In fact, there are policies in place to promote appropriate behavior.  So is it smart to use humor in today’s workplace?

The answer: yes. Humor and respect for others are not mutually exclusive. Effectively using humor can drive positive emotions in the workplace.  Laughter can build relationships, encourage creativity, and reduce tension.  Employers frequently list having a sense of humor as a desirable quality in new employees.

So if all this is true, why are certain leaders reluctant to include humor as they relate to others?  I have had leaders say that using humor is a minefield, filled with potential misunderstandings.  Others say humor may contribute to a hostile work environment, which is certainly not where an organization wants to be.  I also believe there is a risk to humor and some leaders prefer to play it safe.

I recall a business trip years ago that resulted in a humorous story, and the joke was on me.  Following a full day of meetings, I was exhausted and heading to the airport on a Friday afternoon.  Arriving at the terminal I was ready to check-in and suddenly noticed there were no passengers.  I asked an employee what was happening and he smiled.  He told me the new airport on the other end of town had opened that morning.  Racing to the new airport I watched my flight depart on time as I entered the parking lot.  This was the last commercial flight of the day and I spent the night.  I use this story to remind others, and myself, we all make mistakes and to be careful of our assumptions.

Three principles to effectively use humor in the workplace:

Humility
A study published in the Leadership & Organization Development Journal reported that leaders who use self-deprecating humor appear more approachable and human to subordinates.  Similar to my airport story, focusing humor on your mistakes or shortcomings is a message to others about your humility.  Sometimes the joke needs to be on you.

Appropriate Material 
Where can you find good, clean material?  Everywhere!  You don’t need a library of joke books.  There is humor all around us – pay attention during your daily routine.  The grocery store, driving, or attending a sporting event.  Good taste needs to be your standard –know your audience and check your material if in doubt.  Office humor needs to be inclusive and positive. Sarcasm may generate a few temporary laughs but is disrespectful to individuals and your organization.  Personal insults and insensitive material may  violate company policies preventing a hostile work environment (race, gender, age, etc...).​  Understand the boundaries - the office is not a comedy club.

Maintain your Credibility
Leaders must consistently model the way that humor is accepted and appreciated.  We need to be careful to use just enough humor without eroding our credibility.  Constantly laughing or joking can result in others not taking you seriously – pick your spots.

The art of leading with humor is within our reach.  Applying the principles of humility, appropriate material, and credibility will enable you to connect with others more effectively.  Remember, the most effective laugh may be the one on you!
 

How Do YOU See the World?

“If you want to have an interesting dinner conversation, be interested. If you want to have interesting things to write, be interested. If you want to meet interesting people, be interested in the people you meet—their lives, their history, their story.” – Jim Collins 

Life is based on experiences, including the books we read and the people we meet. These experiences represent our learning portfolio, affecting how we see the world and lead others. But an effective leader needs a variety of experiences to help them grow. Sometimes, it is easy for us to stay within our comfortable routine and resist change. 

I learned this the hard way. I did not pay attention to critical relationships early in my career. My work routine involved going on break (do breaks still exist?) and having lunch with the same group every day. We had fresh gossip or a mistake made by our supervisor to feed the conversation. My point of view was strongly influenced by this group, and a mentor finally challenged me to be wary of my associations. 

This advice caused me to reconsider my social interactions and reorient my relationships towards individuals who were moving the organization forward, a transition that was not easy and changed my career. This resulted in building connections to new people, greater career satisfaction, and becoming a more interesting leader. I challenge you to do the same. An effective leader can build an intentional learning portfolio through critical reading, thinking, and relationships. 

Critical Reading 
For years I would read articles and books based on an interesting title or concept, with little regard for the author. My moment of truth came in graduate school at Bradley University when my professors challenged me to read critically, discern the author and their point of view. I began to understand that reading to reinforce my current beliefs was not helping me grow. Take an inventory of the newspapers, magazines, and media sources that shape your views – what alternative sources are available to widen your perspective? 

Critical Thinking 
Critical thinking is all about asking effective questions, recognizing assumptions, objectively testing potential solutions, and effectively communicating in practical terms. Let’s look at a common example – evaluating data. Making decisions based on data that is convenient, subjective, and narrow is a shortcut with expensive consequences – both for you and your organization. A better approach is questioning the sources of information, identifying the root cause of the issue, and developing a story to support the data. We are rewarded for the decisions we make – critical thinking pays dividends. 

Critical Relationships 
As I mentioned in my story of being wary of your associations, take a look at your daily routine and calendar. Are you surrounded by individuals who are catalysts foropportunities or more of the same? We certainly need to have champions and critics to help us grow. Manage your relationships to keep you informed, inspired, and relevant. Don’t be a prisoner of your experience. Now is the time to reflect on your reading, thinking, and relationships to promote your leadership development. Be an interesting leader and increase your personal impact. 

Todd

What Kind of Leader are You?

Are You a Positive Leader?

“Complaining does not work as a strategy” - Randy Pausch, The Last Lecture

Why do people complain at work? The source is generally caused by a feeling of fear or being helpless. No doubt many people today are being asked to do more with less, working longer hours with greater expectations and fewer resources. The result is often frustration about their job, supervisor, co-workers, and the organization. Frustration leads to complaining, complaining impacts the work environment, and as leaders we are expected to engage. 

I attended a meeting several years ago where an unpopular HR policy was being introduced. The team was very frustrated and the meeting soon turned negative. The leader invited differing opinions as long as a potential solution was included. He ended the discussion by admitting he was not happy about the policy as well, but the team needed to make the policy work. I was impressed the leader took a risk by revealing his personal frustration, rather than just insisting the company is always right or there is nothing they could do, and the team appreciated his honesty and the group moved forward. 

As leaders we experience deposits and withdrawals from our energy tank every day. Our tank rises when we encounter a positive individual or experience, and the reverse is true when we are told the glass is half empty. So how do we effectively lead others and manage our attitude through negative energy?

Here are three steps to leading positively: check your attitude, promote a fair process, and use positive language.

Check Your Attitude
Before you address the negative behavior of others, ask yourself if you are contributing to the problem. We often have a tendency to grade ourselves on a generous curve. Great leaders resist the easy road – contributing to the negative messages to remain popular or simply ignoring the situation. They understand the importance of remaining objective to promote a positive work environment. Check your objectivity by getting feedback from a trusted peer or mentor.

Fair Process 
Your first goal is to understand the root cause of the negative behavior. Pursue the facts, ask questions, and expect solutions. Give your people the opportunity to be heard, a fair process, but remember success is a positive solution – not unanimous agreement. Experience tells us people are often more concerned about the process than the final decision.

Positive Language
One of my favorite questions in a negative situation is “what is the good news?” There are two sides to every story and complaining is centered on attracting others to a single point of view. A common definition of intelligence is being able to hold two competing thoughts at the same time, and we need to expect our people to be objective. Leaders welcome alternative views and set ground rules for team discussions to prevent gripe sessions. For example, playing the devil’s advocate to clarify thinking is fine – complaining with no solutions is not.

The reality is our human condition can cause us to see the dark side during challenging times. Challenge yourself to check your attitude, promote a fair process, and be a role model by leading with positive language. Your people are looking for a positive leader – let it be you. 

Todd