Wednesday, July 15, 2015

Character Gap: Good Intentions Gone Bad

 

“I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character.”
Martin Luther King, Jr.

 
Kent’s Story
Kent seemed to have it all.  He recently received a great promotion, was successfully networked with senior leaders in his organization, and he believed he treated others with good intentions.  Then one day Kent’s professional world hit a brick wall.  He was asked by his manager’s boss for feedback on a co-worker Kent did not like. 

Kent unloaded a very negative assessment of his colleague, based primarily on second hand information, looking to win favor with his boss.  He believed his boss would admire his candid feedback, and that his good intentions should be directed to his leader.  Sensing an opportunity as his colleague’s reputation was in question, Kent took advantage of this conversation to make sure his boss was aware of how successful he believed his performance was. 

Leaving the executive’s office Kent felt pleased he had provided tough feedback and that this experience had certainly been a career builder.  His boss had a different reaction – Kent was not a team player and suffered from an inflated sense of self.  Kent has a significant character gap and is about to learn he is stuck, not on the way up.   
 
We often judge ourselves by the standard of good intentions featuring our best behavior, while others are held to a higher standard highlighting only their weaknesses. This process is known as the fundamental attribution error – a tendency to see our own behavior in a better light.  Kent clearly is not aware of his inappropriate behavior and a follow-up meeting with his boss was a complete surprise – he was told his inflated sense of self was a blind spot that needed to be corrected.  What does Kent need to do? 
 
Character is a collection of your life experiences – a portrait of who you really are.  Our character is not perfect as we navigate through challenging moral and ethical challenges in life.  Individuals who are admired for their strong character display a few common traits – integrity, humility, and gratitude.  The measuring stick is your reputation.
 
The University of Michigan offers a course entitled “The Ethics of Corporate Management” and it features the following description:

This course is not concerned with the personal issues of honesty and truthfulness.  It is assumed that the students at this university have already formed their own standards on these issues.” 

In other words, character is not about taking a course or reading a book.  Kent is fortunate to have a boss who will give him constructive feedback – a rare opportunity as you climb the corporate ladder.  He needs others to help examine his character gaps, where his actual self deviates from the person he aspires to be, and to be open to respond to what he learns.
 
Three principles to promoting your professional character:

Integrity
Keep it simple - tell the truth and keep your promises.  Our complicated world will test your impulse control – manage yourself to take the time necessary to do the right thing.  Integrity is about consistency, not only when it is convenient.

Humility
Admired leaders are very aware of their weaknesses and struggle with them to grow and build their self-respect.  Step back to make sure your ego is in place – this will result in a giant step forward.  Humility and passion are the ingredients to becoming a great leader.   

Gratitude
Affirm others and enjoy the ride.  Share your gratitude and don’t expect anything in return.  We need others to encourage and support us – your gratitude will attract similar individuals who want to partner with you.
 
The good news is Kent faces a character gap that can be managed. He is discovering more about himself through self-assessment work with a coach, and is learning to compete against himself - not others.  I encourage you to keep it simple – do the right thing, keep others first, and share your appreciation abundantly.  Good intentions are in the eyes of the beholder.