Sort of? Not Really. What Your Language Says About You

“Our language is the reflection of ourselves. A language is an exact reflection of the character and growth of its speakers.”
- Cesar Chavez

I sort of enjoy writing leadership newsletters.  What does this sentence tell you about me?  Does “sort of” decrease your interest in what I have to say?  Passive language threatens our credibility and fails to build trust.  As leaders, we have the opportunity to tell others what they need to know through active content and confident delivery.

Dr. Gabriel Doyle, author of the blog “Motivated Grammar,” describes the phrase "sort of" as “don’t think of this as being overly accurate.”  In other words, it tells the other person you are not sure.  Uncertainty projects a lack of confidence, and your ability to influence others suffers. 

The word passive is often defined as allowing things to happen - and ceding control to someone else.  For example, if you are interviewing for an exciting job opportunity and consistently use passive language (sort of, kind of, maybe) your competitiveness for the job will be compromised.  Stay in control by crafting the right message to let your internal passion match your words.

While the focus of this newsletter is on the spoken word, the principles also apply to writing skills.  Successful leaders write confidently and concisely.  Take a moment to review a recent written communication you authored – look for passive words such as could or might.  You may not have all the information necessary to completely answer a challenge.  What you do have is a reader who deserves your best thoughts (or what I call completed staff work), and active language is what they expect and need.

I was recently coaching an individual who frequently used passive language, both informally and while giving presentations.  My feedback surprised him as he had never had this development need shared with him before.  His response was, “ I kind of understand what your are saying.”  We laughed and then focused on changing his language choices.  He learned to collect his thoughts by pausing before responding and moved from passive to active language.

Three keys to improving your leadership fluency:  
 

Objectivity

Projecting an open mind sets the stage for a mutually beneficial discussion.  Conversations have three stages: opening, body, and close.  Begin your conversation with positive energy that promotes a fair process - I will listen to your ideas and can suspend my judgment.  We all want our ideas to be heard, and when they are we pay greater attention to the content and delivery of the message seeking to influence us (body and close).  

Content
Keep your words focused on action leading to results.  For example, I recommend we implement this new software and I am confident we will reduce expenses by 20 percent within two years.  Anticipate and answer two critical questions - what is your solution and how will we measure success?
   
Delivery 
Along with strong content, you must deliver a compelling message.  Confidently express your message through eye contact, posture, and hand gestures.  Studies continuously demonstrate that body language is more powerful than words: step up and let others see — not just hear — your ideas and the leader you are.  

Keep an open mind, focus your content on the desired outcome, and deliver your message with confidence.  Tell people what they need to know –  fluency is your ticket to influence.