Blind Spots: What You Might be Missing

 

“We are often more obvious to others than we are to ourselves”  — Albert Ellis

“I don’t really do that – do I?”

Have you ever had someone call you out for something you said or did, and it comes as a complete surprise?

These surprises are our blind spots – the areas we don't see, but others do. Author John C. Maxwell defines a blind spot as "an area in the lives of people in which they continually do not see themselves or their situation realistically."  Some blind spots can be deadly, draining our relationships and limiting our opportunities.

For example, you may think you are a great listener, yet others observe you cutting people off mid-sentence to sell your idea.  Other common examples of blind spots are deciding the rules don’t apply to you, valuing being right over being effective, and treating opinions as facts.

A common tool used to work with blind spots is the Johari Window – a communication model used to improve understanding between individuals and teams.  “Johari” is derived from the names Joseph Luft and Harrry Ingham who developed the model in 1955.  Luft and Ingham focused on the importance of self disclosure, realizing what others see in you that may be unknown to you, which resulted in two key findings:

• With feedback from others, you can learn about yourself and come to terms with your behavior.
• You can build trust with others by disclosing information about yourself.

But feedback is not enough.  The critical ingredient is to share enough information about ourselves so we can accept constructive feedback.

I formerly worked with a peer who was overly competitive.  Our company had an employee recognition day designed to reward our workers for all their hard work, including games and entertainment.  A volleyball game was underway and my peer and I were on opposite teams.  On my team, we had a young man with limited athletic ability who also worked in his department.  My peer was up to serve and placed every serve directly to this young man – you can imagine what ensued.  His team won the game yet a much bigger statement was made that day – winning at all costs is not in our company value system.  One of our executives was watching the game and his facial expression told the story.  I pulled him aside after the game and my feedback was dismissed – this individual and his blind spots eventually left the organization.

Three keys to managing your blind spots:

Awkward Feedback
Ask five people you really trust to share unconventional feedback through open-ended questions.  Rather than “have you ever seen me lose my temper?” (yes or no) - ask “what am I doing that makes me seem angry?”  Carefully develop the questions you want answers to, in order to hear what you need to hear.  My guess is these five individuals will ask you to return the favor.

Validate the Feedback
Identify one or two colleagues to confirm the feedback you have received - “have you seen me do this – in what type of situation?”  Again, ask for details.  The strongest leaders have a supporting cast willing to help them grow as a leader.

Call Yourself Out
A powerful key is to call yourself out – “I need to know if you feel I am not listening to your idea.”  This projects a transparent leader who is modeling the need for development.

Can I ask you a favor?  I always welcome newsletter feedback - any blind spots I should be aware of or topics you would recommend?  As a coach, I am also available to discuss the blind spots challenging your professional growth.