Relationship IOUs: Keeping Your Promises

 

“A promise made is a debt unpaid”
-  Robert W. Service

“I read the greatest article on that topic — I’ll make sure to send you a copy.”
“I have a friend who would be a great client for you – I will touch base with her.”
“I see you are up for a promotion – I’ll put in a good word for you.” 

Do any of these offers sound familiar?  These are examples of relationship “I Owe Yous.” debts to be paid, and each one is a test for your dependability as a leader.

Traditionally IOU’s were written instruments to recognize a debt exists.  Today they are favors promised, not contracts.  Not all of these promises have equal impact – a small favor certainly differs from a career-changing request.

Broken promises damage individual relationships as well as organizations.  A recent study by Accenture found 40 percent of consumers experience a broken promise from a business (example - on time delivery).​  In fact, two out of three respondents say the same company broke their promise two times or more.  Another study in Switzerland determined through brain activity studies that when individuals make promises they actually know whether or not they intend to complete or break their promise.  

 

So the next time you say "I will call you" take a moment and ask yourself if you really mean it, and understand broken promises can become a very difficult habit to correct.  

 

One unpaid debt I observed involved a missed promotional opportunity for a friend.  She was qualified for a promotional opportunity and her manager promised she would get an interview, as he knew the interviewing manager.  Unfortunately, the call was not made and she was not interviewed.  The result: a demotivated top performer, a manager who overpromised and has an outstanding IOU, and a working relationship reeling from broken trust.  

 

The three keys to keeping your IOU promises:

Confirm
Favors often appear in conversations as a brief “aha” – not premeditated thoughts.  Before you return to the original conversation topic, stop and confirm the specific details of what you are promising.  Delivering on the wrong promise is a result of inactive listening and can affect your credibility.

Archive
Once your favor is clear, record what needs to be done in a consistent location.  Trusting your memory is a risk - take the extra time to enter the right information in the right place.  Writing a note on the back of a handout or available piece of paper is also not the solution – trust me, this is a lesson from personal experience!

Deliver +1
Your number one priority is to pay your debt.  Why not provide additional value by delivering a related favor.  For example, “I thought you also might be interested in ….”  This represents the feature Amazon.com offers when you are searching for a product, and the concept certainly extends to our personal relationships.

I have failed to deliver on IOU's in the past and today have a greater appreciation for the value they create.  Build your dependability by confirming what you have promised, archiving the debt you owe, and delivering +1 to add value.   Keep your promises to build a relationship balance sheet that is debt-free.