Professional Gratitude: Every Day, Not Just a Holiday

  
“At times our own light goes out and is rekindled by a spark from another person. Each of us has cause to think with deep gratitude of those who have lighted the flame within us”
- Albert Schweitzer

The holiday season is a great opportunity to reflect on all we are thankful for – our family, friends, partners and everyone we consider part of our inner circle.  Our outer circle includes those we work with every day – our team, supervisor, and most importantly, our clients.  Expressing professional gratitude to this group is more than being nice – it is a virtue.

So how can we incorporate gratitude into our professional relationships beyond the holidays?

First, let’s get clear about gratitude.  Gratitude is much more than a thank you or a gift card – it is a mindset that affirms there is good in the world which comes from sources beyond us.  This confirms two of my leadership beliefs: we are surrounded by opportunities and our success in life comes from others.  In other words, none of us is truly self-made.  The advice, encouragement, and loyalty we give and receive results in a rare double win - for the giver and receiver.  The goodness sent and received creates grateful people, and research confirms both parties are happier, healthier, and more resilient.

I recall one of my mentors who modeled professional gratitude.  Every time I visited him in his office he would clear his desk and focus completely on me.  I felt valued and trusted him implicitly.  He would provide me specific feedback and taught me to receive gratitude as a gift.  It was all about me and not about him – gratitude expressed through attention and authenticity.
 
So how does professional gratitude work?  A great model for gratitude can be found in the book The Four Things that Matter Most by Ira Byock.  The author introduces theeleven words of hospice: please forgive me, I forgive you, thank you, and I love you.  These powerful words are often shared as someone is nearing the end of life, but these words also offer the energy to build a life.  In the workplace these words can be awkward, potentially viewed as weak in an environment that rewards strength over warmth.  So how can we express gratitude and not adversely impact our career?

Three keys to projecting gratitude as a leader:

Authenticity
Appreciation from someone who barely knows you and is using second or third hand feedback is not inspiring. Overly broad statements like, "Great job, everyone!" often leave no one feeling truly appreciated for their work. Find an opportunity to recognize someone for a specific task. For example: “Thanks for confirming the agenda and location for our meeting next week – I really appreciate your attention to detail."  The authentic leader makes the personal connection between task and relationship.

Admission

We express our thanks to others who "set the table" for our success: removing obstacles, accurately anticipating our needs, and offering solutions (as opposed to excuses).  Our admission builds relationships grounded in trust — an investment with no strings attached.  Think of who has recently set the table for your success — it is not too late to tell them they are appreciated. 

Acceptance
“Oh, it really was not a big deal!”  How often do we hear people deflect gratitude?  Accept the kind words – for yourself and the giver.  We can tend to minimize positive feedback in our professional lives, rationalizing encouraging words to what is expected performance.  A final thought on acceptance is respecting individual preferences for private vs. public gratitude — let the receiver decide.  Whether public or private, gratitude needs to be heard — silence is not the answer.
 
Be thankful for the inspiration your inner and outer circles collectively provide through gratitude, and embrace your responsibility for paying it forward.   Focus on your professional relationships by being authentic, humble, and appreciative.  Gratitude is one of the hardest things in life to give away – it keeps coming back to you.
 

And a moment of thanks for you, my readers. Thank you for your feedback and insight and taking the time to read The Opportunity Coach. 

One Step Forward, Two Steps Back

“If you chase two rabbits… you will catch neither one.”
- Russian Proverb

As we finish 2014, there is so much to do.  Wrapping up what needs to be done before year-end, while also keeping an eye on what is around the corner for 2015.  We are thankful for multi-tasking, the ability to perform several tasks at the same time, as we try to keep our heads above water.  But is multi-tasking really advancing our cause or are we being lulled into a false sense of achievement?
 
Let me make it real for you.  Try reading this newsletter without interruption for the next three or four minutes.  No doubt your smart phone will ping, somebody may walk by your desk, or you will remember a forgotten item on the grocery list.  Can you feel the pain of doing one thing at a time?  It feels so unproductive, yet the evidence clearly tells us by focusing on one thing we can be so much more productive.
 
Multi-tasking first entered our vocabulary back in the 1960s when computers entered the mainstream.  Computers were designed to perform multiple tasks simultaneously and this worked very well.  People are different than computers - our brains are engineered to focus on one thing at a time.  We can certainly do two routine things at once (walk & talk) but the challenge is to focus on two more complicated tasks at once (email & conversation).  The price of mistakes caused by multi-tasking can be costly (mistakes prescribing medications or inattentive parenting) and include derailing your career.
 
Research at Stanford University confirms that multi-tasking is less productive than doing one thing at a time.  This much we know - workers are interrupted on average every 11 minutes, process over 4,000 thoughts a day, and ultimately waste one-third of each day being distracted.  It is not that we have too little time – we have too many things in the time we have.
 
So why is multi-tasking not effective?  With all our interruptions and distractions we switch from one task to another, over and over.  This process involves two steps: switch and reorient.  For example, we switch from reading our email to visiting with a co-worker.  This is not a seamless transition – it takes mental resources to reorient to the new situation (co-worker, task, environment, sense of urgency).  Constantly shifting our focus wastes of approximately one-third of a workday, even while feeling productive.
 
Three keys to increase your effectiveness by minimizing your multi-tasking:

Focus on #1
Prioritize your work and put your best effort toward what matters most.  Too often we are seduced into spending our day multi-tasking  “C” priorities, leaving work feeling good even though we are stepping backwards in our overall productivity.  Stop and ask yourself – what is the best use of my time right now?

Segment your Day
Productivity experts encourage us to partition our day into several periods.  For example, work your social media during a set time period versus constantly interrupting your day.  Turn off all your reminder pings, check email a set number of times a day, and refocus on the human side of the workplace.  There is no “I” in team, text, laptop or smart phone – but there is in relationship.

Be in the Moment
Relationships need to be fed and multi-tasking can starve these precious resources.  Make your smart phone a second priority and connect with the person striving for your attention.  We have all seen the couple at a restaurant where one partner hangs their head waiting for the other to finish working email or sending texts.  You are either in the moment with someone or you are not – there is no middle ground.
 
Increase your productivity and satisfaction by focusing on the things you need to do in the time you have.  Pay attention to what is #1, manage your time, and most importantly be in the moment.  Focus your way to a better life – less is more.